What can you do today?

For personal reasons this week was a tough one for me. We’ve all had weeks like this I’m sure. Weeks that are draining both emotionally and physically and weeks that test you.

What really stood out to me this week was the support and love I received from those close to me. The calls to make sure I was ok, the emails just to pass on love and support. My friends and family are truly amazing and their assistance could never go unnoticed in normal times, but in a week like this – it’s been overwhelming.

This week every person who, in knowing this would be a tough time for me, passed on their message in whatever way they did made me feel amazingly special and loved.

As part of my daily disciplines I try to make sure I make someone else feel special each day. As the recipient of a lot of other people making me feel special this week can I encourage you to take time out today to send an email, a text message, a hand written card or visit or call someone who you can make an impact on today.

It doesn’t have to be someone going through something tough – it could be as simple as a phone call to a elderly relative you haven’t spoken to in a while, a cheeky text to your partner or bringing in some baked goods for the person you share an office with.

Make someone else feel special today.

By Kirsty Dunphey with No comments

I recently met two people – both of the same amazing stature, both equally impressive, both who have achieved phenomenally in their lives. When I spoke with one, he remembered my name half an hour later after meeting countless other people, he was engaging, he asked relevant questions and in short, with his every word and action he was present in the conversation with me.

The other person was a striking figure and was never rude or discourteous, but he looked over my shoulder as we spoke and was obviously keen to dash once our brief conversation was done.

Whenever you meet anyone in your life you have the power to either “be present” in that conversation and in that moment – or not. It’s a simple gesture, but why not try to be present everywhere you can. With a stranger you’ve just met, with your family (I know I’m guilty of zoning out at times here), with your workmates.

Today set yourself the challenge that you’ll be present with everyone you interact with.

Three simple tips (that aren’t rocket science) to increase your ability to be present:

- Remember and use someone’s name when you’ve just met them
- Remember a fact they’ve said in a previous conversation and ask them about it (how did the fishing go this weekend, how was your daughter’s swim meet)
- Ask a question that allows them to go deeper on something they’ve already said

By doing the above not only will you make someone else feel engaged and special but you could very well be making an impact on a valuable future client or friend.

By Kirsty Dunphey with 1 comment

Inspiration from trees?

I had a weird and draining week last week. My husband was posted to another city for a week and so I had a week living in a hotel – and for the first time, it wasn’t because I had to work or speak so I knew without a project I was going to have a lot of time on my hands.


I got some strange inspiration – but thought, hey, if it’s inspiration who cares about the source. That inspiration came in the form of a television show, “Men in Trees” to be exact where a woman is in a tiny town in Alaska (translate to a tiny hotel room in Hobart) writing her next book.


I took the inspiration and decided that I was going to lock myself in this room last week and write my second book and I made a commitment to myself that I wasn’t leaving that room without a draft manuscript.


It was terrible to start with! I got writers block before I’d even written a word, I made excuse after excuse to leave the room (the local gym saw a lot of me!) But then, Wednesday came around – coming up to Friday’s crunch time and voila – under pressure I came through and 10,000 words poured onto my keyboard.


If you work well under pressure (think back to whether you could cram at high school) what imagined pressure can you put yourself under this next week to achieve something you otherwise thought you couldn’t?


I don’t want you to care about where the inspiration comes from – as long as you have some and don’t let yourself make any excuses!

By Kirsty Dunphey with 1 comment

I've been told a number of times that I have a pretty annoying habit and that is that I'm a compulsive problem solver or "fixer". If you come to me with a complaint, a gripe, a problem - my first reaction is to give you a solution. I want the problem fixed, I want it gone and I want everyone to move on and be happy! Sound familiar to anyone? I know there's lots of us out there like this...

The two problems I find for me with my innately problem solving mentality are:

1. Quite often people don't want a solution, they just want someone to listen to them.

2. If you constantly give someone solutions, you don't teach them any problem skills for themselves.

Not long into my career managing staff I decided that from then on when people would come to me with a complaint or a problem I'd ask them to also bring me a solution.

The hardest part for me was (and is!) also learning to sometimes ask the question "Do you want a solution here or would you just like me to listen?" It's one of my ongoing challenges.

The next time someone comes to you with a conundrum, a conflict, a grumble - consider these two points mentioned above. Firstly - do they just want a sympathetic ear? Secondly - how can you help them improve their problem solving skills?

By Kirsty Dunphey with No comments