Who's The Communication Boss?

I hate talking on the phone. I feel like it's some genetically encoded throwback to my gen Y half (I sit on the cusp of gen X and gen Y).

Recently while having a week with a particularly busy work schedule I was even less inclined to chit chat on the phone I emailed a real estate agent about a property I'm looking into. He called me back with the answers to my questions, didn't get me and left a message on my phone. I emailed him back with more questions. He then again called back with the answers, this time he got me on the phone. I asked him a few more things but specified, could he email me the answers when he found them out. It won't shock you that he called me back again with the answers and left them via message on my phone. I then emailed him back letting him know I'd prefer to communicate by email. Bless his heart, I got a call from him to explain why he preferred to communicate on the phone.

Yes, I get it, I was probably being a little petulant with my desire to communicate by email. The real question however is - who gets to set the preferred mode of communication in a relationship?

When we get a new property owner at Elephant Property (our real estate agency) two of the first questions we ask are: can we communicate via email for non urgent matters (yes/no) and for more urgent matters, what's your preferred method of contact (email/mobile/other phone/text message/fax).

The client sets the way we communicate. Who sets the method in your business and is it the best way to tend to your client's needs or yours?

By Kirsty Dunphey with No comments

Delegate Good Times, C’mon!

This weekend we gave two rectangle pieces of material to my mother in law and asked her to sew them together into a table cover for us. Moments later with a whirl on her sewing machine she handed them back to us, sewed end to end into a really long rectangle, when what we actually wanted was them sewn side to side into a square.

It reminded me of one of the most important lessons in any workplace – communication is key. With a few more words, or a simple demonstration we could have more than adequately shown what we wanted, but we were rushed, and on the phone and didn’t take the time (miniscule as it was).

I’ve seen this time and time again in so many workplaces. Staff are thrown in over their heads and not adequately communicated with and it leaves managers or business owners spouting words like “If you want something done well…” and “Nobody listens to me!”

What can you be taking more time to explain today? So what if it takes you twice as long to explain it if you never need to explain it again and can delegate that task with confidence thereafter?

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By Kirsty Dunphey with No comments

Blind Obedience

I’m not sure I could ever be in the military as my father was. Blind obedience doesn’t sit well with me, and yet it’s a way of life and a vital tool for survival in the military.

In a business environment however, I think that blind obedience only hamstrings an organisation.


Any manager who expects and wants blind obedience is really just saying they want to constrict the growth of an organisation.

There’s a huge difference between respect and blind obedience.

• Blind obedience keeps on doing something even when it knows there’s a better way.

• Respect, says “have we ever thought about adding / changing…”

And while there’s a huge difference between respect and blind obedience there are also miles between respect and disrespect.

• Respect says “I’ve been thinking, what if we tried…” and clearly and concisely states their point for their manager.

• Disrespect says “That’s stupid and inefficient” either to their manager’s face or behind their back or continues to press their point long after their manager has considered it and decided to go in another direction

The problem? So many employees think that what their manager wants is blind obedience. The secret? The best managers want your input. They want you to help your organisation get better. When you improve something, everyone benefits and you make your manager look better. They may not always take your advice, or move in your direction (as a manger that’s their choice), but done respectfully it will always be of benefit.

Tweak your communication so it’s always respectful and always helpful and you’ll soon see that a first class manager will welcome your suggestions.

What to do if you have a manager who isn’t first class and who only wants blind obedience? Firstly, find out if this is the case or if you just assume it is (have a coffee with them and try them out on one piece of feedback, ask how they like feedback delivered). If you’re positive that they only want blind obedience my advice is: fall into line (but keep your eyes open for a different manager or mentor - you deserve better).

By Kirsty Dunphey with No comments

Foot in keyboard disease

When I was 19 years old, I told a friend’s mother something that my friend had vented to me in confidence. My intentions were only the best. The result: foot jammed well and truly in mouth.

At age 21, I told a girl that her boy was talking trash about her in front of others (only I told her in front of a whole swag of people). My intentions, again were only the best. The result: far less than the best.

At age 23, I impersonated a small child dancing in an amusing way in a chemist. My intentions: harmless fun, I was in a silly mood. The result, I got “jumped” by her drug addict mum (so the chemist informed later) and a small gang outside the chemist. The result: my first and only fight. (Disclaimer: the “gang” were actually teenage pyjama clad girls, but they kicked and slapped with the best of them I can tell you).

And just yesterday, my intentions lead me to fire off a poorly worded email which ended up landing someone else in trouble. My intentions, as before had no malice, but the results… well I think you can guess.

This last outbreak of foot in keyboard disease got me wondering when this would all end. I’m a grown woman and yet still, every now and then I still stick my foot in it so badly.

The remedy? The only one I can think of: learn something from where my foot has historically ended up on occasion.

The solution?
• Take time to think before I email / say something
• During that time, ask myself how I’d feel if everyone I spoke about in that conversation or email heard what I was saying
• Don’t dance in chemists

It’s so easy today to fire off something verbally or via the keyboard without taking the time to think about it. 5 seconds thought about the email I sent yesterday would have been all I needed to realise it wasn’t a good idea. Unfortunately, I saved myself those 5 seconds and cost myself a whole lot more trouble in the long run.

By Kirsty Dunphey with No comments