What can you do today?

For personal reasons this week was a tough one for me. We’ve all had weeks like this I’m sure. Weeks that are draining both emotionally and physically and weeks that test you.

What really stood out to me this week was the support and love I received from those close to me. The calls to make sure I was ok, the emails just to pass on love and support. My friends and family are truly amazing and their assistance could never go unnoticed in normal times, but in a week like this – it’s been overwhelming.

This week every person who, in knowing this would be a tough time for me, passed on their message in whatever way they did made me feel amazingly special and loved.

As part of my daily disciplines I try to make sure I make someone else feel special each day. As the recipient of a lot of other people making me feel special this week can I encourage you to take time out today to send an email, a text message, a hand written card or visit or call someone who you can make an impact on today.

It doesn’t have to be someone going through something tough – it could be as simple as a phone call to a elderly relative you haven’t spoken to in a while, a cheeky text to your partner or bringing in some baked goods for the person you share an office with.

Make someone else feel special today.

By Kirsty Dunphey with No comments

I recently met two people – both of the same amazing stature, both equally impressive, both who have achieved phenomenally in their lives. When I spoke with one, he remembered my name half an hour later after meeting countless other people, he was engaging, he asked relevant questions and in short, with his every word and action he was present in the conversation with me.

The other person was a striking figure and was never rude or discourteous, but he looked over my shoulder as we spoke and was obviously keen to dash once our brief conversation was done.

Whenever you meet anyone in your life you have the power to either “be present” in that conversation and in that moment – or not. It’s a simple gesture, but why not try to be present everywhere you can. With a stranger you’ve just met, with your family (I know I’m guilty of zoning out at times here), with your workmates.

Today set yourself the challenge that you’ll be present with everyone you interact with.

Three simple tips (that aren’t rocket science) to increase your ability to be present:

- Remember and use someone’s name when you’ve just met them
- Remember a fact they’ve said in a previous conversation and ask them about it (how did the fishing go this weekend, how was your daughter’s swim meet)
- Ask a question that allows them to go deeper on something they’ve already said

By doing the above not only will you make someone else feel engaged and special but you could very well be making an impact on a valuable future client or friend.

By Kirsty Dunphey with 1 comment

Inspiration from trees?

I had a weird and draining week last week. My husband was posted to another city for a week and so I had a week living in a hotel – and for the first time, it wasn’t because I had to work or speak so I knew without a project I was going to have a lot of time on my hands.


I got some strange inspiration – but thought, hey, if it’s inspiration who cares about the source. That inspiration came in the form of a television show, “Men in Trees” to be exact where a woman is in a tiny town in Alaska (translate to a tiny hotel room in Hobart) writing her next book.


I took the inspiration and decided that I was going to lock myself in this room last week and write my second book and I made a commitment to myself that I wasn’t leaving that room without a draft manuscript.


It was terrible to start with! I got writers block before I’d even written a word, I made excuse after excuse to leave the room (the local gym saw a lot of me!) But then, Wednesday came around – coming up to Friday’s crunch time and voila – under pressure I came through and 10,000 words poured onto my keyboard.


If you work well under pressure (think back to whether you could cram at high school) what imagined pressure can you put yourself under this next week to achieve something you otherwise thought you couldn’t?


I don’t want you to care about where the inspiration comes from – as long as you have some and don’t let yourself make any excuses!

By Kirsty Dunphey with 1 comment

I've been told a number of times that I have a pretty annoying habit and that is that I'm a compulsive problem solver or "fixer". If you come to me with a complaint, a gripe, a problem - my first reaction is to give you a solution. I want the problem fixed, I want it gone and I want everyone to move on and be happy! Sound familiar to anyone? I know there's lots of us out there like this...

The two problems I find for me with my innately problem solving mentality are:

1. Quite often people don't want a solution, they just want someone to listen to them.

2. If you constantly give someone solutions, you don't teach them any problem skills for themselves.

Not long into my career managing staff I decided that from then on when people would come to me with a complaint or a problem I'd ask them to also bring me a solution.

The hardest part for me was (and is!) also learning to sometimes ask the question "Do you want a solution here or would you just like me to listen?" It's one of my ongoing challenges.

The next time someone comes to you with a conundrum, a conflict, a grumble - consider these two points mentioned above. Firstly - do they just want a sympathetic ear? Secondly - how can you help them improve their problem solving skills?

By Kirsty Dunphey with No comments

Ever heard the saying "perception is reality"? Let me share with you something I heard recently which made me realise we all put our own slant on everything and our own preconceived ideas and beliefs really do effect our perception of situations.

Imagine this scenario - you're sitting at a local café where a man and woman are having a conversation opposite you. You look up from your coffee only to see the man slap the woman in the face. What is your instant reaction to this? What thoughts instantly popped into your mind when you imagined this?

Let's erase that from your memory and say as you looked up over your cappuccino you saw the woman slap the man in the face. What do you assume has happened here?

Now you wouldn't be alone if in the first situation where the man hit the woman you thought "Oh my gosh, why's he hitting her? What a rat!". Whereas in the second situation where the woman slaps the man many instantly jump to the thought pattern "What has he done to deserve that!".

I read about this scenario and the common reactions (which I too had) in one of Allan Pease's book's and found it quite an interesting study of human perception. Same action, different reaction due to our conditioning.

Keep thinking and stay fabulous

Kirsty

By Kirsty Dunphey with No comments

After enjoying a lovely stay at a friend’s home in Sydney some weeks ago we were gathered around a few drinks and some desert at the end of the night when our friend asked his soon to be wife what was the highlight and lowlight of her day.

An interesting conversation followed with all of us sharing our highlight and lowlight for the day and it was fun and revealing. I encourage you to trial it yourself tonight with your family, partner of friends find out for each of them:

1. What was the highlight of their day.

I’ve never been the sort of person who kept a diary regularly, but each day this year I’ve taken to writing down just the highlight of my day. One thing that has made that day special and spectacular. In looking for the bright moment each day I guarantee that I appreciate the day for what it’s been and I’m always looking to the positive.

2. What was the lowlight of their day.

3. I’ve added my own link in here at number three – because I think that with every failure, there’s a lesson, with every mistake, an opportunity and so with each lowlight you mention, ask what the positive to come from that was or could be. For example, if your low light was that you got a speeding fine, the positive is that you’re going to be more conscious of your speeding in future and potentially save your life or someone else’s by being more cautious.

Stay fabulous, enjoy getting to know each other and seeing a double positive in every day!

Kirsty

By Kirsty Dunphey with No comments

I'll have a saucepan thanks!

My husband had to gently put his hand under my mouth and prop up my gaping jaw the other night at dinner with friends. I didn’t even realise I was staring – but this restaurant had the same principle that Swamp (see blog below) had going on. My friend Sam ordered the mussels and when they arrived they came in a massive saucepan with a serving of mussels larger than a basketball. They absolutely made me crave them, made me want to go back to the restaurant and made me remember the meal even more. Would I have had the same reaction if the mussels had just arrived in a normal bowl?

What can you do in your business to create that lasting impression?

By Kirsty Dunphey with No comments

Swamp - That Special Feeling

I recently ate lunch with a girlfriend a new restaurant in a neighbouring suburb. This suburb is predominantly built on previously flooded land – hence the name of the restaurant “Swamp”.

I ordered some sushi, a ham roll and a banana smoothie for my lunch that day (hey – I like to eat!) and one thing really stood out. When my smoothie came to the table it was served in a massive cocktail style fish bowl glass, it had a cocktail umbrella, a snazzy yellow plastic seahorse and a fancy straw. Swamp had taken something fairly innocuous and created an experience I wouldn’t soon forget.

They took the ordinary – me ordering a smoothie - and with a few simple, not very costly techniques, they made it glamorous and unforgettable.

Today consider how you could you change an otherwise ordinary for one of your customers into something extraordinary? Congratulations Skye and Paul on a great new business!

By Kirsty Dunphey with 2 comments

What a hypocrite I am!

I was sitting in my small local neighbourhood beauty salon yesterday filled with dread. I'm not a beauty salon kind of girl but with a friend's wedding coming up I was making the leap.

The dread however wasn't coming from my lack of experience in the beauty chair. It stemmed from some scary words the young girl wielding hot wax at my eyebrows had just uttered. She'd mentioned that she was still in training.

I was at once petrified with the thought that soon I would have to draw back on my miniscule non existent eyebrows with a pencil each day.

Then a thought occurred to me... Was this how people used to feel when I would show up at their doorsteps at 19 to do a real estate appraisal?

I decided I didn't care, I was still going to panic that someone that young was going to be causing me pain, and even more worried at the pain I would soon feel when I looked into the mirror and saw the result.

To my delight however, I've got to tell you that this young lady really wowed me. Perhaps sensing my trepidation she stepped me gradually through every action she was doing, her knowledge and the training she had already done was evident in the way she calmed me. The result was nothing freakish and I left feeling really happy and a bit disappointed in myself for jumping to such immediate conclusions!

I've always said that the best way to counter youth and inexperience is through enthusiasm and constantly increasing your knowledge. It was nice to get a real life example of that yesterday!

By Kirsty Dunphey with No comments