Sunday, January 31, 2010

Add this to your reading list and don’t be scared by the heart!

I’ll often say that a The 5 Love Languages is the best book I’ve read in years. Now it has a huge love heart on the front cover and has fundamentally been written to help people improve their romantic relationships – however, I’m happy to go on record as saying that it can even be one of the best business books you’ll ever read too.

The principle behind the book is that people primarily show love in one of 5 ways and that’s the way they most like to receive it. Too bad if the person you’re showing love to prefers to receive it in a different way – we’re mostly hardwired to show it in our own way as a default.

After reading the book we figured out that my husband and I have pretty much completely opposite love languages. I like presents and gifts, even if it’s just a rock from the garden or a card. My husband likes acts of service, ie: when he’s painting the deck or vacuuming, that’s how he’s showing me he loves me. (Vacuuming?! How was I meant to figure that one out!!)

The reason I say this book is one of the best business books I’ve ever read is that the same principle applies to rewarding clients and staff. You’ve got to find out what language they speak and reward or recognise them in the same way. Giving a monetary bonus to a staff member that just wants you to take 5 minutes to tell them in a heartfelt way that you appreciate them is almost pointless.

I highly recommend you don’t get scared off the big heart and put The 5 Love Languages on your personal and business reading list for better relationships (with everyone!)

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By Kirsty Dunphey with 1 comment


Hi Kirsty! I love this book and I agree with you that it's so relevant for all sorts of relationships. If only I could get my husband to read it...

There's also another version for parents called The Five Love Languages of Children, and it's brilliant for helping to understand how to meet your children's needs. It also mentions that children need a balance of all 5 love languages because their primary languages don't form straight away.

There's also the blog to check out (but, like you, I recommend the book to everyone!) -

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