Beer o’clock review

It’s the end of the week... Ahh... a sigh of relief escapes your lips. The temptation for it to be “beer o’clock” (Australianism for knock off time on Friday) at 2.00pm or to continue Friday lunch into Friday after work drinks is strong.

Consider taking 5 minutes before you finish on a Friday to ask yourself these simple questions...

Looking back at the week that has been:

1. What is one mistake I’ve made and why won’t I repeat it (ie: what have I changed, what system have I put in place)

2. What is one achievement I’m really proud of

3. What is one area/task/job in which I could have done better

4. What did I learn this week

5. What goal did I get closer to achieving this week

5 simple questions: commit to asking them weekly and you’ll commit to weekly improvement.

By Kirsty Dunphey with No comments

Postcard from the future

Ever seen a 6 year old after receiving personally addressed mail? Bouncing… excitement… gleeful delight… I’m proud to say I’ve retained a lot of my inner 6 year old and I too often get that excited when I receive a thoughtful piece of mail.

Yesterday I got a hand written card from a friend to congratulate me on a speaking job I’ve just been awarded in Las Vegas. Bounce, bounce. A couple of weeks ago I received a book as a gift from a reader of my newsletter. Excitement, excitement. And while I haven’t quite managed to muster gleeful delight over receiving bills and tax notices – wait for that response when my second book arrives in boxes in our office next month!

Mail can be exciting. My challenge for you today is to send yourself some mail. I want you to send yourself a postcard from the future.

I love getting postcards… fabulous picture, a few well placed words and a mental image of someone somewhere living life to the fullest.

Your challenge is to send yourself a postcard from 5 years, 10 years, 50 years (you chose) in the future.

What image is on the front of your post card?

What I mean by this is: where are you in 5, 10, 50 years? Be outrageous if you can. No-one sends post cards from home so pretend you’re either living somewhere amazing or that you’re vacationing at a dream destination.

Note here that I’ve never truthfully been able to answer the question “Where do you see yourself in 5 years?”. I hate this question because my mind can’t even conceive all the things I want to do in the next year let alone provide you with a perfect plan for 5 years away.

I could however always answer the question – “Tell me once place you would want to have gone within 5 years”. Vietnam, Prague, Egypt, Arizona, Santiago… the list could go on forever.

So the picture on the front of your postcard is from a location you will want to have been to or be at in 5 years.

What does your postcard say?

On the back of the postcard you have only a few words to write yourself an aspirational message. I love the word aspiration and according to dictionary.com it means a strong desire, longing, or aim or a goal or object desired.

Your post card might look like this:

Picture: Eiffel Tower

Dear Beth,

Wow – can you believe I’m finally seeing the Eiffel Tower with my two great kids and my loving husband. I’m on long service leave from work and can’t wait to get back there refreshed and revived in 2 months. If you could just see the sunset from our hotel over the Arc de Triomphe you’d be as in love with Paris as I am!

See you here in 10 years! Love Beth

Bear in mind Beth might be single without kids right now – but she wants herself to head towards this lifestyle – so she puts it in the postcard.

Mine might be…

Picture: Multi coloured saris

Dear Kirsty

Don’t have long to write, the plane leaves for Cuba in 10 minutes. Of all the 50 countries I’ve seen in the past 5 years flying out of India today leaves me with one of the strongest cultural reminders. The ten businesses I’ve got running remotely as my sensational husband I travel are thriving and supporting my lifestyle and I’ve just mastered my fifth language and can’t wait to learn to salsa next. Did you also know that my brother just bought his tenth investment property???

Stay fabulous and see you here in 5 years - Kirsty

Have a bit of fun with this challenge and feel free to send me your postcard!

By Kirsty Dunphey with No comments

What's your Iron Man?

I sat captivated in an audience a few weeks ago watching a speaker give a presentation. Being a speaker myself I often find myself watching other speakers in two ways, firstly of course to hear their story but also to pick up tips on presentation skills.

I had no time to pick up presentation skills while watching this speaker because for around 45 minutes I was completely drawn into her world. A world I’d never thought about before. In her world 5 years before she couldn’t swim – and yet set herself the goal to compete in the grueling world of Iron Man.

I too am not the greatest swimmer so I journeyed with her in my mind when she spoke of having to go to a class with 5 year olds to learn to swim. I felt her pain when she spoke of her toenails falling off after competing in the Iron Man and my heart swelled when she repeated the words said to her on the loudspeaker as she crossed her first finish line “Susan Casey you are an Iron Man”.

Susan Casey isn’t a professional speaker (despite being utterly engaging.) To me that was one of the things that was so great about her presentation. Here was a real person telling a real story aptly titled “Ordinary people doing Extraordinary things.”

At the end of her presentation she opened for questions and the last comment from an audience member left a bad taste in my mouth. The question asked was “isn’t it bad for your body?” Now I think this is a great question – Iron Man does really harsh things to the human body! After getting the answer, the audience member then disappointingly said to the entire group “I don’t know why anyone would bother!”

To me, she missed the entire point of the talk. Here was a normal person just like any of us in the audience who had set her mind on achieving something great, something only a tiny percentage of the population would ever achieve and she did it despite the difficulty.

This speaker wasn’t talking about persuading everyone to do Iron Man. She was clearly showing us all that whatever our goals and however much sacrifice and determination is needed for us to achieve them – we could do it if we put our minds to it and applied the principles she was talking about.

I felt sad that this person in the audience didn’t get the same message as me. They chose to see simply the first layer of her presentation and not to see how that message could transform their lives and everyone’s in that room.

What’s your Iron Man and how far are you willing to go to achieve it?

By Kirsty Dunphey with 1 comment

Secret 11 - The ladder always has another rung

When a lovely lady called Debra from the United States asked me to do a series on “The Top 10 Secrets that really got me to the Top” I smiled to myself.

I smiled because as much as I love sharing these tips with you – I see myself as having so many more rungs in my ladder to climb! I’m not at “the top” – far from it in my mind.

I’m 28 years old now and I’m overjoyed at some of the things I’ve accomplished over my past 13 years in real estate and 13 years in small business, however – in terms of what I’ll accomplish over my lifetime… I hope to be able to look back in a few years time with accomplishments that dwarf what I’ve already done.

This is a characteristic I’ve observed in lots of my success role models. Whilst they celebrate milestones, they’re always striving for new heights, always pursuing passions and always aiming to climb another rung.

So in terms of phrasing this a secret – I would say “celebrate success, but pursue ongoing challenge”. To me one of the most amazing moments in is when I reach a goal, achieve a dream and make something happen. If I thought I was at the top I’d have nowhere left to go! Dream big!

By Kirsty Dunphey with No comments

Secret 10 – Great things come to those who ask

This is one of my favourite secrets because it fits really well with my personality. Will it work for you? Perhaps not exactly in the way I’m describing that it has worked for me, but I think that’s a good thing! If we were all exactly alike and could absorb someone else’s success tips word for word and action for action we’d have no need to use our brains! As with all these tips – internalize them and find a way for you to make them your own!

Back onto the secret though – and that is: Be a little cheeky! I’m a big believer in cheeky!

One recent example of me being cheeky… Pete Williams author of “How to turn your million dollar idea into reality” was featured in last month’s Business Essentials, an audio program that goes out to business professionals everywhere on CD. Pete was nice enough to organize me a copy. After listening to it I was impressed with the program and impressed with Pete for getting himself onto it!

Not wanting to be outdone I emailed the head of Business Essentials, told him about myself and let him know in my own cheeky way that I thought he should interview me next! Now I don’t like to ask for things without giving as well – so I listed a bunch of compelling reasons why interviewing me would work well for Business Essentials and what I could offer in return (never just try and take, always give first!)

Suffice it to say that cheeky Kirsty won out and I’ve been featured as July’s Business Essentials cover interview. If you would like to listen to part of my interview head here: http://www.be.com.au/audio/Dunphey_BE_July07.wax and to find out more about Business Essentials head here: http://www.be.com.au/

So – that was a great result for me, but don’t think I always get my own way! I often ask for things I don’t get, but I’m never going to stop asking. The “no” response leaves me in no worse a place than I was to begin with!

Great things come to those who ask – what can you be cheeky and ask for today?

By Kirsty Dunphey with No comments

Secret 9 – Peacock Feathers

I have a confession to make. I’m afraid of birds. I’m getting better at it, but after a memorable childhood experience I’m naturally jittery around them.

I do have a tie for my favourite types of birds. The first is kookaburras. A new addition to my favourites list after my husband trained two of them to hand feed from our back balcony.

My other favourite type of bird though is the peacock. I’ve always been fascinated with their gorgeous tails and their regal colouring. At the Gorge, a must see next time you’re in Launceston Tasmania there are numerous birds, but put almost any other type of bird next to a peacock and it’s hard not to stare at my favourite.

They’re so different from most birds with their calm mannerisms, their looong tails and their hypnotizing colouring.

In the business world I see a lot of sparrows. Pleasant enough little birds, yet where there’s one sparrow there’s lots of others and it’s hard to tell the difference between them.

A peacock is different, as opposed to the sparrow, it says look at me, it’s obvious that I deserve your attention because I’m different.

Perhaps so many of us grow up to be sparrows because back in school being different didn’t often make you popular!

In real estate, in your job, in your business, in anything – you can chose to be a sparrow and do what everyone else does in the same ways as everyone else, or you can chose to be the peacock and to stretch yourself and differentiate yourself in a spectacular way. I chose peacock, always have, always will!

By Kirsty Dunphey with No comments

What is customer service?

Think about the last time you took a ride in a taxi or airport transfer. Over the years I’ve certainly had some funny experiences – especially on one chilly night in Melbourne where our taxi driver told us that living in his country was all about sleeping and partying (in some more expressive language than that!)

I must say however I’m always keenly aware of cleanliness, odour and the ability of the driver to assist when asked questions. Sometimes I’m pleasantly surprised, often I’m not.

The reason that I’m writing is that I had a great experience this weekend up on the Gold Coast with our airport pick up.

To me when I experience amazing service it’s usually just a whole bunch of tiny things adding up. The components to our service this day included:

• Being greeted with my name spelled correctly on the sign (it’s a small thing I know, but with the number of times my name is spelled incorrectly I always appreciate it)
• Our driver introduced himself by name – Barry, shook our hands and asked for each of our first names
• While we were waiting for our luggage Barry took our carry on to the car
• Barry carried our luggage to the car for us
• He then informed us of the better spot for the one of us with shorter legs (me!) to sit
• In the car were magazines and some jokes that had been printed out
• Barry had a pleasant and knowledgeable answer to every question we asked from how far away a dinner spot was (7 and a half minutes walk) and who he though would win Big Brother (his vote was for Joel!)
• Our pick up time was confirmed and rechecked and he let us know where our driver would be waiting for us
• In case of any other questions we were asked to take a business card so that we could call straight through in case of any problems
• On the drive home Barry remembered the dinner spot and asked how the meal was
• Our luggage was lifted from the boot of the car onto the footpath in front of the airport (ie: so we didn’t have to lift it above the curb)
• Our doors were opened and closed for us
• Barry also requested on the return journey that we take a card in case we needed another ride next time we were in that area.

Nothing Barry did was rocket science – but it all lead to an extremely pleasant customer service experience and one that will make me want to refer Barry and “BT tours and Airport Transfers” whenever I get the chance.

It definitely made me remember that customer service is about little things done well consistently.

By Kirsty Dunphey with 1 comment

Secret 8 – What’s your Everest?

Over the course of my husband’s work – which is quite physical - I’ve watched with great admiration as he’s set himself a goal and then gone all out to achieve it. I’ve seen him push himself physically, training for months on end to prepare himself for a single event stretching only a few days.

Earlier this year I watched one of my good friends as months of physical training culminated in her running her first half marathon.

I’m proud as can be of both of them, but in some ways, I’m also jealous of them both knowing that they’ve gotten to feel that sense of elation that comes from seeing the fruition of physical discipline to achieve a goal. I imagine it’s akin to what those who reach the summit of Everest feel, though perhaps less cold!

I don’t know if I’ll ever train to the same intensity as my husband and I don’t know if I’ll ever run a half marathon like my friend, but the more I study them as role models the more I realise that this tactic does not just get utilized in our lives from a sporting or a physical perspective.

Any time I’ve wanted a promotion in a job, I’ve pushed myself to show that I was ready to my boss. When I wanted to start any of my businesses I’ve pushed myself to take action. When I wanted to implement a innovative idea in my company I’ve pushed myself beyond listening to what “can” and “can’t” be done.

I’ve pushed myself not just outside my own comfort zone – but quite often outside of what others thought was possible, outside what I knew was possible and outside what others were prepared to do.

I love the study of successful people and this is a common thread amongst them all. What is your half marathon going to be? What is your Everest and are you prepared to push yourself to get there?

By Kirsty Dunphey with No comments

Secret 7 – Turbo Charger or Anchor?

Imagine you’re a person who wants to achieve greatness in your life (I hope you are if you’re reading this!). Now you might want to be the best hairdresser, the best business owner, the best figure skater you can be, whatever it is for you, picture it vividly.

Now imagine a case where every day as you went about your life trying to achieve your dreams the people who were closest to you were constantly put out negativity, constantly trying bring you down and constantly belittling your dreams and goals.

Could you still achieve greatness?

I like to think you could, but it would be like trying to sail a ship with the anchor dragging behind you. You might get some momentum – but wow would it be hard work!

Each day we can make a conscious choice as to who we surround ourselves with the majority of the time. I have a very special group of friends and mentors who have definitely helped contribute to my success.

I have many friends who own their own businesses, I have encouraging positive friends who have dreams that are totally different to mine – but they still have dreams, I have a husband who supports my goals 100% and I have mentors who delight in sharing their success and lessons learnt with me.

As opposed to being a dragging anchor these people put turbo charged motors on my sail boat – propelling me closer to my goals.

Do I still have people in my life who are not as positive as they could be? Sure I do – I just try to make sure that I spend the majority of my time with turbo chargers, not anchors. And I try to encourage everyone in my life to dream big, have goals and see a positive future for themselves. The best way I feel I can do this is to be a turbo charger myself.

Here’s wishing you a turbo charged week!

By Kirsty Dunphey with No comments

Without Passion...

I had a sensational day yesterday with two fabulous high achieving young women. We talked about so much – but one conversation really stands out in my mind. We were talking about “passion” and about how vital is to love what you do. It reminded me of a phone call I had last week from one of my former staff members – Emma Matheson.

Emma came to work for us under an REIT scholarship when she was just a teenager. She worked with our company under that scholarship for four years.

During that time – as you can imagine - there were ups and downs. Emma and I had many conversations about how if she persisted and stuck with the program she’d be able to achieve all her goals.

Last Thursday when I checked my phone messages I had one from Emma telling me that her new real estate office in St Helens Tasmania was opening on Tuesday and that now SHE was the youngest licensed manager in the State (a title I used to hold!)

I almost burst out of my skin with pride. Congratulations Emma and thank you for reminding me what I’m passionate about – helping other people achieve all they’re capable of!

By Kirsty Dunphey with No comments

Absolutely Abbie

I went to my post office box to pick up my mail the other day and pulled out the mass of paperwork there always is. As I flicked through I noticed some bills, some money coming in, some correspondence - all pretty normal, except for one package. It was from the post office / newsagency (where we do all our book mailouts from). I thought it was my bill for the month – despite the fact that it was kind of a weird shape.

When I got home inside that envelope there wasn’t a bill – there was a small pack of quotation cards with a note saying “thought you might appreciate these – regards Abbie”.

Abbie works at my newsagency and saw these and thought I’d like them – she was absolutely right. This was a really simple gesture, but something that put a huge smile on my face that day and reinforced my decision to continue using this particular post office and newsagency’s services.

It’s a perfect example that customer service can be as simple as a small, thoughtful gift like this, but still be long lasting and have a huge impact.

Thank you Abbie – I look forward to doing more business with you soon!

By Kirsty Dunphey with No comments

What can you do behind someone's back?

I had a very weird experience earlier this week that I’ll share with you today instead of moving on to tip 7 in the secrets series (don’t worry we’ll get back onto that next week!)

On Monday I drove for about 2 hours to do a 3 hour training workshop. As I do before any session I spent that driving time getting in the right state of mind. It doesn’t matter whether my audience is 2,000 people or 10 (as this group was) the preparation is the same. I listen to the right music, I’ll listen to some business interviews or a CD from Rick DeLuca at www.realestateideaclub.com and I’ll rehearse what I’m going to say as I drive to my destination.

I arrived at the location with my head in the right state of mind, I was ready to go and ready to wow! I went upstairs and introduced myself to the new receptionist at this training location and as I did so one of the other staff came out into the reception area. She saw I was introducing myself and said to the new receptionist (and to me) – “Oh this is Kirsty, you’ll hear lots about Kirsty.”

I smiled to myself and thought, what a nice thing to say. It was then that the smile sort of faded from my face because she continued speaking and the entire passage went something like this:

“Oh this is Kirsty, you’ll hear lots about Kirsty…. I wouldn’t say people don’t like her, but there are a lot of other people who aren’t very happy at the money she’s made in the industry when they’ve been in it longer.” This isn’t a verbatim quote obviously because my word for word memory suffers a little my jaw is on the ground but you get the point… the words “I wouldn’t say people don’t like her… but” definitely stick in my mind!

Tall poppy syndrome is what we call this in Australia and unfortunately it’s prevalent. I know I used to find myself doing it when I was younger – disliking someone for whatever reason without really knowing them or their story.

This obviously isn’t the first time I’ve come across it, but wow – the way this one was presented to me was certainly a first!

I could have taken this a number of ways, but firstly I decided to go downstairs and give the best presentation I could to the room of my colleagues who had been waiting downstairs. It was a fabulous session and they were one of the best groups I’ve ever shared an afternoon with.

Secondly, I had to realise that there are only two ways I’ll ever be able to stop these sorts of comments being made about me:

1. Do nothing, be nothing, accomplish nothing. No thanks!
2. Do my best, strive to set an example and share what I’ve learnt so that others can achieve their own dreams and goals. This way may never stop all these sorts of comments – but it’s my preferred option for sure!

I’ll leave you with a little thought a mentor of mine once said to me… Never say anything behind someone’s back you wouldn’t say to their face, and always remember the best thing you can do behind someone’s back is to pat it!

By Kirsty Dunphey with No comments

Secret 6 - Confidence Counts

Successful people have confidence that they are important.

High achievers whilst not always shouting their achievements in a bragging format to the treetops, typically have high confidence levels. They understand that they’re trying to do good in the world, that they’re acting with the best intentions and that what they do makes a difference.

I just met a fabulous young man who wants to get into public speaking, but doesn’t think he has a story to tell that others would be interested in hearing. I chuckled when I heard that because I used to feel the same way. So one day I said – ok, regardless of what I think - if I had to tell a story and share some lessons, what would they be? From there I started telling my story at schools, rotary clubs and then worked my way up to doing paid jobs in front of thousands of people. I couldn’t start charging for my services as a speaker however until I had the confidence that I was providing value for money.

Confidence comes with success yes, but even before then it can come to you if you know you’re doing the best job you can. Success follows people who are committing to excellence even when they’re not sure anyone’s looking!

By Kirsty Dunphey with No comments

Secret 5 - Change is going to happen, Deal with it

Imagine if every day of your life you were walking around on ground that was in constant motion.

With every step you tried to take, the ground below your feet was spinning in a non-stop fashion completely out of your control.

Well of course, if you think about it rationally, this is happening to us all every day. The world is in constant motion, it’s completely out of our control and yet somehow we manage to walk upright, not get dizzy (most of the time!) and stay in control of our movement.

In any organization and in anyone’s life change is pretty much the only thing you can guarantee. Change is any movement away from what is currently the norm.

Now if this is the case and if change is inevitable – why are so many people so opposed to change!

Successful people not only learn to deal with change, they embrace and encourage it. Change means growth, change means development.

A business that is not changing has reached a plateau or is actually going backwards. A person whose life is not changing is not growing, they’re not learning from those around them and they’re certainly not making mistakes. Mistakes are the building blocks for learning and growth.

Here are some interesting changes I went through owning my real estate agency in Launceston, Tasmania:

- When we started our real estate agency we got a lot of business because we were small and boutique. When the company grew we were seen as a large dominating player - our marketing strategy had to change accordingly.

- When we were the first to do certain things in our area (advertise on television, have computer screen monitors displaying our properties in our front office window, have a higher level of membership to certain websites etc) we were copied. I learned to realize, so what! We took it as a compliment!

- Our major competitors when we started the business were completely different to the major competitors we had 5 years in. I took this as a lesson that nothing in business is certain. The firms we once vied with the most were reduced to tiny players and other new companies and new visions in older companies were now at the forefront with us.

- We started off with a tiny team (three people, all business owners) in one office. When I sold the company there was more than 50 people in 6 offices. Your systems obviously have to change to accommodate dramatic growth like this.

- Our legislation changed, licensing requirements changed, staff changed, we moved offices 4 times, change, change, change. Be prepared for the fact that you can’t be prepared for it all.

I once heard someone say that if you don’t like change you’re going to like extinction even less! Get used to change – and find ways to create change in your life.

By Kirsty Dunphey with No comments

Secret 4: Get Disciplined

To me, excellence is doing the same diligent tasks every day longer than anyone else.

Jim Rohn, an amazing speaker, was the first who ever really go through to me on this message. He said two things that really rang true:

1. If an apple a day keeps the doctor away – 7 apples on Sunday just isn’t going to cut it.

2. What’s easy to do, is also easy not to do.

Yes – it’s easy to find time to exercise one day, but to be disciplined and do it every day or most days – isn’t as easy. Doing what’s easy to do once consistently until it becomes habit is what sets apart the really successful.

Some of my daily disciplines include:

- As mentioned already, I read every day, usually for at least half an hour

- I try to exercise every day

- I try to learn something new every day (word of the day mentioned below in the web links is great for this because if you read every day you are going to stumble across words that are on the edge of your vocab limits)

- I try to make someone else feel special every day (a compliment, an email, a smile, a helping hand – it’s not difficult)

- These days I try to write every day. For me this is a new skill I’m loving learning.

What’s the skill you’re trying to improve at? Could you do a small amount of it every day? What other “easy to do once” things should you be doing daily?

By Kirsty Dunphey with No comments

Secret 3: Get Perspective

Last week I spoke about taking responsibility – this week follows on in a similar vein.

I often fondly remember a story I was told when I first got into real estate. That was of two salespeople sent to the depths of Africa to sell shoes. One salesperson phoned home after a week and said “it’s useless – I can’t sell shoes here, nobody wears shoes!” He then demanded to come home.

The other sales person phoned home excitedly after a week saying “This is unreal! Send me more stock immediately, I’ve got a captive market here – nobody wears shoes!”

Now of course this is exactly the same situation – but two very different perspectives on it.

I could have looked at my childhood and said that because my parents had some dealings with some disreputable people which lead to some hard times financially that I should never go into business – after all look at what happened to them. Instead I chose to say, what other young person (I was 15 when I started my first business) knows what works in small business and what doesn’t – what a great real life education I’ve had.

I find I get perspective shifts when I’m not expecting them. I delivered three speaking presentations last week. The first in front of 400 people, the last in front of about 50. It was however the second presentation – a speaker showcase which filled me with the most dread.

I was as nervous as I can remember being before going on stage. The audience wasn’t anywhere near 400 people but there were people in the audience that I really respected, other speakers who were also showcasing their work. The fact that I knew I was going to be watched by two of these speakers in particular, people whose work I admire and look up to hugely, was what brought out my nerves.

As I sat waiting my turn to go second in the lineup of four speakers biting what little fingernails I had left I was suddenly given the gift of a change in perspective by the first speaker.

The first speaker – Walter Mikac - was not someone I had worked with or heard speak before, but he was someone who took me on an amazing emotional journey that day.

As all Tasmanians know on the 28th of April, 1996 our state experienced a very dark day. By the end of that day 35 people lay massacred at Port Arthur in the state’s South. Walter Mikac lost his wife and both his 3 and 6 year old daughters that day. Most of us will never experience anything of that magnitude in our lives, I know I certainly haven’t.

As I sat in the audience and watched Walter share his story – something which will obviously always remain very personal and very painful to him I was given a perspective shift.

Firstly – when I think I’m having a bad day – it’s almost definitely an amazing day, I just don’t realise it. When I think of Walter – I’ll realise it.

Secondly – I had to ask myself why was Walter sharing his story given the obvious emotion. He explained why and shared his message of courage and turning despair into positive action. A message all of us could benefit from and one I was very glad to receive that day.

Walter Mikac has taken an experience so unnecessarily brutal and painful and he’s turned it around so that despite the pain, he’s made positive action from the experience. Walter was instrumental in lobbying for the tighter gun laws in Tasmania we now have and he set up a foundation - the Alannah and Madeline Foundation www.amf.org.au (in the names of his two young daughters) which has gone on to do amazing work with young people.

Ten minutes into Walter’s presentation my nerves were gone. My perspective had shifted. I was simply sitting there in the audience waiting to share my story too – for reasons exactly the same as Walter’s. I had a message I thought the audience could benefit and learn from and in presenting it I would also learn from the experience. Despite my nerves – this was a great day and I just needed to realise that. If I had let my fears control me that day and had let my mind wander to simply preparing for my talk instead of listening to Walter’s – think of the valuable life lesson I would have missed out on.

You have an amazing opportunity to see today and every day for what a great days they are. Whether you chose to do so or not is up to you.

By Kirsty Dunphey with No comments

Secret 2: Take Responsibility

Truly successful people take responsibility for things that happen in their lives - good and bad. Stop making excuses today.

When something goes wrong in your life, take responsibility. Accept and learn from what you’ve done to get yourself there and move on better from the experience.

If you’ve been passed over for the promotion you thought you deserved – take responsibility. If someone stole from you – take responsibility.

If you’re not the weight you would like to be – take responsibility. You’re the one not pushing yourself to go to the gym or not eating correctly. It’s not because you don’t have an exercise buddy or because it costs too much to exercise or because you don’t have time. It’s your willpower you need to concentrate on, not making excuses – take responsibility.

If you didn’t get that promotion – it’s because you didn’t show that you add value to your organization to the correct people. Don’t fall into the trap of blaming your boss “they don’t like me” or “they have a grudge against me”. You’re in charge of your life, if you aren’t appreciated and you think you’ve done all you can, you always have the option to take yourself somewhere else – take responsibility.

If someone stole from you – yes, they’re not a great person, however did you put them in a position where they could steal from you? Did you employ them, or leave your bag somewhere you shouldn’t – take responsibility.

You learn nothing if you use the excuse or play the blame game. Take responsibility, learn from the situation and move on a better person.

"I attribute my success to this – I never gave or took any excuse."
Florence Nightingale

By Kirsty Dunphey with No comments

Pump it up or throw it out?

Picture this - you're driving along a beautiful country road. The road is winding, the weather delightful, the tunes blasting from your stereo. Then out of nowhere your car is gripped by a sudden desire to throw itself off to the side of the road. It lurches as thought has a mind of its own to the side veering dangerously towards the edge of the road.

You try to maintain your cool. You slow and as gracefully as you can - pull off to the side of the road. Upon inspection you see that your back tire is now nothing more than a shred of rubber.

This happened to me the other day (the picture is of my back right tyre). I was panicked to say the least! Let me tell you the best part was not then finishing the rest of our 300km journey on our emergency tyre - speed limited to a brisk 80km (50 miles) per hour!

Over the next couple of days, as you can well imagine, I've started taking a long hard look at my tyres. After being flabergasted at the cost of paying $270 to have this one tyre replaced I chose not to get a second tyre replaced at the same time which I was told was wearing thin and had a slight leak.

Silly me - this second tyre has had to be pumped up a number of times since the incident and I'll have to go in and have it replaced urgently now.

The reason I bring this up is that in so many areas of our life, many of us are happy to keep pumping up a failing tyre rather than replacing it with a brand new one. In my case the cost of $270 made me say - not today, when I really should have said "What is my safety worth? A whole lot more than $270!"

In your life you've no doubt chosen to do something similar to pumping up the failing tyre at some stage rather than going to the expense or discomfort of a new tyre. We stay in a career we're not passionate about rather than taking the step to branch out into a new one. We have partnerships and friendships that could be immensely better if we just spoke up about our ideas on how to improve them. We hold off on making that great business idea a reality because the risk of that initial investment isn't in our comfort zone.

Stop pumping up the failing tyres with slow leaks in your life. The cost of a new tyre, (or activity, or project, or idea) if right for you, will pay itself back to you over and over again in the time and energy it saves you in not having to constantly look after a tyre that will never again be what you wanted it to be.

By Kirsty Dunphey with No comments

Top 10 Secrets that really got me to the Top - Secret 1

I've been asked by a new reader to write a series of entries entitled "Top 10 Secrets that really got me to the Top". So here goes, you'll find them all in the weekly emails to come:

Secret 1: There Are No Secrets

The more I read, the more secrets I learn - only - they're not secrets because some of the best business tips are written or recorded and out there for anyone with enough get up and go to actually buy a book and (here's the clincher) READ it!

I'm sure we're all guilty of buying books and then putting them aside to gather dust. I know I certainly am, but taking the time to crack the spine and spend a few hours trapped in a book are well worth the investment.

3 gems I've picked up recently:

1. Leadership doesn't have to mean treating all your employees equally (21 Irrefutable Laws of Leadership)

2. Never too young, Never too old. Your business career can start at any age - I thought I started young, but for a real youthful go getter read Reallionaire.

3. The dramas that happen in a small organisation can be magnified in a huge one - even ones you really admire (Disney War).

To find out more about any of these books head to: www.kirstydunphey.com/readmore.html

Action point: Pick up a book you've bought and started (or not!) and not finished. If you don't enjoy the book - don't put it back on your shelf, it's not for you - gift it on to someone who you think will get value from it and then pick up the next book.

By Kirsty Dunphey with No comments

Give or Take?

I was reminded recently at a speaking job of a really important lesson. Peter Switzer, one of Australia's most well respected business journalist, author and speakers was the MC for the breakfast job and during the morning he mentioned that so many people approach life and business opportunities with a take take take attitude.

His recommendation was always that - if you're going to go to someone looking to take... give something first. As an example he mentioned a client of his who always sends him a joke every Friday (give) as you can imagine - if that client was then looking for a favour or business hook up from Peter - he's got credit he can draw on (take) because Peter enjoys the jokes.

I like to consider my relationships with people to be like a bank. Give, give, give (or save) before you try to take (or withdraw). It's always easier to get when you've already given.

As an example - if you're looking to get an article written by a journalist as publicity for your business you might try and send through your details saying that you're always available for comment on topics related to your industry or you might send through well thought out and relelvant press releases. And when your contact does respond - always remember to send a thank you!

Where in your life right now do you need to be giving and not just trying to take?

By Kirsty Dunphey with No comments